marshall, tj maxx and ross dress for less

I cannot even tell you how much I love these stores. I have spent more hours of my life, treasure troving my way around these stores than I care to admit. They just have the most incredible deals on the most incredible things. Everything from a sweet pair of kicks to some baggy sweats to a sweet lil skinny tie to some clearanced bedding that looks perfect with the new paint to some gourmet vanilla chai to some unique wall art with some rad quotes to a new macbook sleeve and on and on and on.

And for the most part, it's all super cheap.

Like, so super cheap that I have always been like, "wait a second...something fishy is going on here..."

So one day, I did some research and discovered why a lot of their items are so cheap. Sure there are some things that were just overstocked at a department store so they sent them to one of these stores to get them sold and then there is other stuff from last season and they're just clearing off the racks at Express or Nordstroms, but a lot of the time, the reason it is so cheap, is because it is "irregular". 

There is something wrong with it.

And its usually not something noticeably wrong with it, but there is something irregular about it. It might be a tiny hole that cannot be seen by the naked eye or it might be a stitch that is out of place or maybe the tag was sewn upside down accidentally or any number of other ludicrous things, but every single one of those things makes the product irregular and able to be sold at a discounted rate.

Even though there really is nothing "wrong" with it.

I'll buy me an irregular pair of Seven jeans for $12 bucks on the clearance rack, all day long, if the reason it's "irregular" is because it has two stitches on the butt where its supposed to have three stitches. 

The problem with those Seven jeans though is that somewhere along the line, someone decided that because it only had two stitches instead of three, that there was something "wrong" with them. 

Regardless of whether that "imperfection" had anything to do with anything. 

Regardless of the fact that most folks would never see anything wrong with them.

Regardless of the fact that those jeans might be absolutely perfect for me.

To me, the imperfect jeans are actually the perfect jeans.

Sadly enough, this mentality of "irregular" or "imperfect" or things being flawed meaning they are devalued and not worth as much as something else, has carried over into how we treat people...especially how we look at relationships, dating, boyfriends/girlfriends, etc.

The minute someone breaks up with someone else, the person who was broken up with immediately asks, "what is wrong with me?", and even if they don't ask it out loud, they walk out the door and ask themselves that question. They drive home asking themselves that question. They lie in bed asking themselves that question. They drive themselves crazy trying to figure out what is wrong with them. And just maybe, if they find out what is wrong with them, then they can fix it and become perfect.

Too bad, a "perfect" pair of Seven jeans wouldn't be perfect for me.

The irregular, imperfect ones were though.

And the truth is, you ARE imperfect...we all are.

There IS something irregular about you...we all are irregular.

The joy of life and the beauty of the journey is finding that person out there who sees your imperfections, your flaws, and all your irregularities and they see that it is all of those things that make you absolutely perfect for them. 

As one of my favorite musicians, Caitlin Crosby, says in one of her songs, "Imperfect is the new perfect..." and I think that is spot on.

I think if Jesus were to be cruising around these days, He would probably shop at TJ Maxx and Marshalls. I mean, He was all about finding and treasuring the passed over, imperfect, flawed folks.

So, go out there and find your "irregular" pair of jeans...you never know, they just might be the ones you hold on to for the rest of your life.

mad love...

the next best thing...

I have always had a problem with commitment.

And the thing was, it was any kind of commitment, not things that actually mattered.

It didn't matter if you were talking about committing to plans on Friday night, if you were talking about committing my summer to work at some camp, if you were talking about me committing myself to calling some girl my "girlfriend", or if you were simply talking about where we were going to eat dinner that night. I just have just always had trouble committing to that one thing.

I think the reason it has steadily been a struggle in my life is because I was always afraid that something better was going to come along. I was always afraid that better plans were gonna come up, that a better job was gonna come up, that a better girl was gonna come up, that a tastier dinner option was gonna come up, and on and on and on.

Then the sad thing was, often when the better option did come up...I would take it.

Can't tell you how many plans I backed out on cuz something "better" popped up. Can't tell you how many girls never became girlfriends because something "better" showed up. Can't tell you how many friendships got left in the dust because a new buddy came on the scene who seemed "better" at the time. Can't tell you how many years of spiritual growth I missed out on cuz I was bouncing around from church to church looking for something that was even "better" than the last one. Can't tell you how many years of my life I wasted because I was always looking for something better instead of soaking up what I had.

And what is really sad is the fact that I am not alone in this line of thinking.

We live in a society that is wired this exact same way. We are constantly looking for the next best thing and we will bounce on our current "best" thing for the next one, in a heartbeat. It doesn't matter if it's something as trivial as trading in the iPhone 4 you got 3 months ago for the iPhone 5 in a month or if it is something as tragic as trading in your spouse of 26 years for that new secretary that you just got at work.

It is still the same mindset.

We are not content with our right here and right nows. We aren't committed to what we have, right in front of our face, right this second. We are always on the lookout for the next thing to appease our senses a little more than the last thing did. We waste so much of our time, our emotions, our heart, our money, our lives, always trying to keep up with the next best thing.

AND.IT.IS.EXHAUSTING!!

But as long as that is your way of thinking, then its never going to end.

As long as you have trouble committing to RIGHT THIS MOMENT then you will constantly be looking for the next moment to sweep in and save the day.

Look around you right now...

Look at all the blessings you have in your world that you probably take for granted all the time and actually don't even appreciate most of the time because you wish you had something better.

Look at those precious relationships you've neglected for too long. Nothing is guaranteed. Go soak em up.

Look at that church you've been casually bouncing in and out of for 3 years now. Go jump in, head first, right in the deep end and see what happens.

If you're looking at your boyfriend or girlfriend as a "they'll do for now" or a "they're just the best I've come across but I'm hoping for better" then get out. You don't deserve that and neither do they.

The next best thing is a natural part of life because evolving is a natural part of life. Obviously my cell phone today is better than Zack Morris' cell phone. But, the problem comes when you aren't able to fully commit to the here and now because of the possibility of the next best thing.

As I have grown up some and matured some, I have gotten better at commitment. I've been committed to a job I love for 4+ years now, I've been committed to my incredible wife for 2+ years now, and I am even getting better about committing to places for dinner.

Godsey's anyone?

ninja time with Jackson...

I work at a church that has the traditional Wednesday night suppers and Bible Study in the Fellowship Hall. If you grew up in the South, in and around the Baptist world, then you know what I'm talking about. And while the adults are eating dinner, a lot of the younger kids like to goof off and run around. So me, the big kid that I am, love taking the time to goof off with the young kids for a little while...just long enough so that I don't get in trouble for getting the kids too wound up and too excited.

While I'm busy running amuck with the kiddos, there's one aspect of this goofing off time that I love. Our children's minister here at the church has a son named Jackson and he is a rad lil dude who I can chat with about Marvel Comics, Harry Potter, being a ninja, and other incredible things like that. And on Wednesday nights, just for a few minutes, we will usually have ourselves a little ninja battle. He, along with a couple of his little buddies, will come and attack me and I have to fend them off like a ninja. It is quite a blast and I am pretty sure that Jackson loves it. He is smiling ear-to-ear and giggling the whole time.

This might not seem like much to any of y'all, but I feel like this is a pretty big deal. A quote that I have grown to love says that "success is...to win the affection...of children" so according to this quote, each and every Wednesday that I have my little ninja battles, that day is a successful day for me.

What does it mean for you to be successful? What does it mean for you to have an impact on this world? What does it mean for you to lay your head down on your pillow at night and know that you have made the world around you a better place?

Usually when we think of such things, we think on large scales, we think of huge things we have to begin, create or do. We think about starting a non-profit or volunteering with homeless folks for a semester. We think of mission trips to Africa or evangelizing on street corners. We think of selling all our excess clothes and giving the money to orphans and widows. We always think of success and changing the world in these big kinds of ways, but is that really all that "success" is?

The quote I mentioned above, that I have grown to love says this...

To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intellingent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I think about that quote, it puts success, impact and changing the world in a completely different perspective and it puts it in a very doable perspective...not only for me, but for any of us. We can all laugh and love often. We can be respectful and courteous to others. We can win the affections of kids. We can turn the other cheek and love our enemies. We can appreciate the beauty of people and things all around us. We can seek out and discover the best in others. We can give of our time, our energy, our finances and our lives. We can leave this world a bit better by treating folks well, planting some flowers or helping fund a medical clinic in Rwanda. We can play and laugh with all our hearts, we can sing songs and worship like there's no tomorrow, and we can have joy when nobody else thinks we can. We can smile at the lady at Starbucks, we can call the guy taking our order by name, we can tip good, and we can treat the cashier at Wal-Mart with dignity and respect.

When we look at it like this, success and changing the world doesn't seem so overwhelming. It can happen one smile at a time, one warm greeting at a time, one heart-to-heart at a time. It actually just takes us changing ourselves a little bit. 

Leo Tolstoy said, "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." 

Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Are you becoming the person that can truly impact and change the world around you? 

It's not really as difficult as you might think.